Thursday, March 31, 2011

The Birth Story

Don't give me a hard time!  I know Calum is 10 weeks old today, but geesh, between a new baby, 7 kids, school, and Cade ;) I have a lot on my plate!  I usually feel that if I have time to blog, I should probably be doing school work instead! 

Alright, so it starts like 2 weeks prior to January 20th.  I'm having pretty consistent contractions throughout these 2 weeks, and they were totally playing games with me.  Sometimes they would come every 5 minutes apart, then they'd slow down to 15 minutes apart, and then I would go to bed and they wouldn't be anything to make note of. 

36 weeks the doctor does his first exam.  At this point I'm already 4+ centimeters dialated and 70% effaced!  My doctor lets me know that he would be more than happy to induce me at any time (he was ultra worried about my kidneys because of all the problems I had during the pregnancy), but I declined.  I had 4 other babies completely natural, and I wasn't going to do this last one any differently. 

I head home from the OB appointment, with hard contractions, thinking that for sure this would be the day I would have a baby.  That's what happened with Roxie, I had an exam and it helped labor along, by the next morning, Roxie was born.  Well, that didn't happen with Calum!  Of course! Because why would two births EVER be similar?!  I went home with hard contractions coming 5 minutes apart...all night....until midnight.  And then they just stopped.  And I went to sleep. 

The next week goes by with the same ritual, contractions happening regularly, but not enough to warrant a trip to the hospital.  Cade and I were having more "relations" than we have had during the whole pregnancy, trying to get this thing moving along.  We even took a bouncy suburban ride up to the "H", and if you're a local, you know what I'm talking about when I say, "bouncy."  Nothing worked. 

My next doctors visit I'm 37 weeks.  He checks me, and I'm 5+ centimeters dialated and 80% effaced.  How can I possibly have those two numbers (5+ and 80%) and NOT be in labor?!?  UGH - I was getting so frustrated!  Again he suggested induction, and I declined.  At this point he informs we that he was going out of town on Friday, and wouldn't be back until Monday.  It was currently Wednesday.   :(    So basically, I have to have the baby that night or Thursday, or else I would have to wait until Monday.  Talk about stressful!  This OB has delivered all of my babies.  I trust him with my life.  I don't want someone else to do the job!  He tells me that if I want, he will give me just a bit of pitocin to get my contractions more regular, and then maybe I won't need anymore, and I can do the rest without the pit.  I have until Thursday around noon to decide.  In the meantime, he stripped my membranes to see if that would do the trick. 

I went home and mulled my choices over - to be induced, or to not be induced?  Cade and I kind of went to bed thinking that if the baby didn't come by the next day, I would go get induced....but I really didn't want to.  I should also mention here, that earlier in my pregnancy I had got some pretty intense contractions by eating horseradish on my prime rib.   Sooooo, I made Cade make me some steak with horseradish that night!  ;)  I was trying my hardest to eat that stuff like candy.  Even after my steak was gone, I was dipping my fork into the horseradish and licking it off.  Hey, what can I say? Desperate times, call for desperate measures! 

Luckily, that decision never had to be finalized!  :)  I woke up around 3:30am with some pretty intense contractions, and I just knew.  I got up and dinked around the house, cleaning up some last minute things, getting all the kids clothes ready for school for later that morning, finished packing my hospital bag.  At approximately 4:15, I woke Cade up and told him it was time to go.  He made some weird guttaral sound, abruptly sat up in bed with this very odd look on his face like I'd just slapped him or something, and asked if I was serious.  No, I always wake people up at 4 in the morning to tell them I'm going to have a baby...   While I'm waiting for him to get ready, I go fold some laundry that was waiting for me in the dryer.  15 minutes later, I go in the bedroom, and Cade's STILL in bed!!!  sleeping!  At that point I'm like, "Am I going to the hospital by myself, or what?"  He jumps out of bed, and what does he do?  Get's in the shower!  Nerd.  As I'm getting things all set to go, and he's in the shower talking to me about this & that, I finally said to him, "honey, these suckers are coming about 4 minutes apart.  You might want to hurry."  I guess that's what it took for him, because from that point on, he was in psycho mode - he hurried to get dressed, and then, on the way to the hospital, I couldn't get the man to lift his foot off the gas pedal even slightly! 
We finally got to the hospital around 5:30am.  The nurse checked me, and let me know that she could break my water with her finger nail, it was so thin.  She immediately called my OB, and escorted me to the delivery room.  Shortly after that, the doctor showed up.  We joked a minute about how he could go out of town now, and then he broke my water.  (Something about my births that has been the same:  the OB has always had to break my water, but a baby has always come out within 20 minutes of doing so. always.)  The OB puts his water-proof jacket thingy on (see picture, lol), gets his utensils ready, fidgets around for a few more minutes, turns around and tells me to push.  2 pushes, and the loudest screams I've ever screamed (and I'm a birthing screamer) and we had a beautiful baby boy!  He was born at 6:22am on January 20th, 2011.  He weighed 8 pounds and 9 ounces and he was 20 inches long.

So ladies, if you ever want that baby to come out, eat some horseradish! 

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Eight kids will do that to you...

If you have 8 kids, you know what I'm talking about. Oh what, you don't have 8 kids? That's right, I'm right up there with that 18 (or whatever number of kids she has now) Kids and Counting lady...NO ONE has 8 kids, unless you're that lady or you're from a family of polygamists...well, except ME.

I'll give you an idea of what it's like to have 8 kids.
Imagine you're taking a shower. You crank the knob as hot as you can handle, because that's the closest thing you're going to get to a day at the spa (you can't actually leave the house, because who wants to watch 8 kids?!). Just as you are getting relaxed, some snot-nosed kid comes pounding on the bathroom door, "Mmmmm, sss--httt-eee!" You yell back, "I'm in the shower, I can't hear you!" The child says it again, and this time you just decide to ignore the pest like a fly that won't go away, and hope for the best.

Just as you start washing your hair, you hear some banging on the wall. No, this time it's not the door, it's the actual wall. Probably some child trying to get away from the bully child. (Every family of 8 simply MUST have at least 1 bully, I'm quite sure. I know ours does, but I won't say which child that is - you'll have to figure that out for yourself.) Once again you yell, "Quit busting down the dang walls!" and hope that they might actually have heard you. The banging continues. Guess they didn't hear after all.

As you come to realize that your "day at the spa" isn't quite going how you planned, you turn the water off, wrap a towel around your hair, and just as you're wrapping your robe around you, some lovely little child comes barging through the bathroom door stating how badly they need to use the toilet and when you ask why they can't use their own, they act completely offended that you would even ask and respond with, "because so & so is in our bathroom and they're taking forEVER!"

So you want to take a bathroom break? Nope. You better wait until the very last minute, when you're either going to wet your pants, or do "#2" in your pants, because you get exactly 1 minute, or less, to sit down, do the job, wipe, flush and wash your hands. If you don't do it in 1 minute, some little kid will come running in to see what you're doing. It never fails. As a mother of 8, you are not allowed to have more than one minute alone. Not allowed!

Let's else can I describe being the mother of eight? Ah yes, intimate relations. They don't exist. The time is never right- ask Cade. haha :x ...which, considering that we have 8 kids, it's probably a good thing that the time is never right. It's like a really good form of birth control. You either have a crying baby, a child that cracked his or her head open, or the kids won't quit banging on the door (see previous paragraph about not having more than 1 minute alone). Even if you try to do "it" at night, chances are that atleast one of your kids will come in crying for some reason. It could be anything- crying, fell out bed, bad dream, threw up in their sleep - take your pick. It's always something!

Mealtimes! It's more like a crazy food frenzy than an actual meal time. You get each of the kids food dished onto their plates, bless the food and then it begins! The very minute that you think you might get to shovel a spoonful of food into your mouth, a child asks for more chicken nuggets. After you give them a few more, you sit down to resume your attempt at eating dinner, and immediately, immediately, another child asks for more chicken. Why they can't ask you for chicken nuggets when their sibling did is beyond me, but this ritual never fails. Soooo, you get up and give them some more chicken nuggets. Then another child needs more milk, another needs more peas, another needs some bread, another just spilled their milk, and so on and so forth. This process just keeps repeating itself until mealtime ends. I've pretty much given up even eating with the children, except on rare occasions.

And what do you do before mealtime? You wash your hands! We have 2 bathrooms in this house. One is mine & Cades, the other is the kids. That's right, eight kids share one bathroom. We actually had to make bathroom rules. Rule #1: One kid in the bathroom at a time. Rule #2: Stand in a line against the wall outside of the bathroom until it is your turn. Rule #3: If you have to pee, and it's meal time, you go to the end of the line so that every other kid doesn't have to wait for you. We have one specific child that thinks the bathroom is her sanctuary. She will spend a good 15 minutes in there if you let her. I don't know exactly what she's doing in there, but she sings while she does it. Everyone else will be standing against the wall, waiting to wash their hands, and she's in there humming a tune. Hence, rule #3.

That is the what eight kids will do to you. It's done it to me, and I wouldn't trade it for the world....but a nap would be nice. ;)

Friday, March 11, 2011

The life of a Nurse-Maid

There has been so much illness going around this town lately, and unfortunately we haven't been immune to it. :/
So the other day my lovely sister-in-law was asking, via facebook, how we were doing, because as of today, we've had the Influenza B virus in our house for three (yes, I said THREE) weeks! As I was typing out my response to her, I saw how absolutely absurd it looked! I must be crazy, truly. I've copy & pasted my response to her, so that you can see how absolutely crazy I really am:

"Well, Roxie didn't run a fever for over 24 hours, so I thought she was better. Sent her to ballet, she ate lunch, went down for a nap and when she woke up it was back to 102. :(

Calum isn't running a fever anymore, but has been throwing up and pretty crabby.

Colby started running a low grade fever today and woke up with the cough/congestion.

Asher, Cailin & Kelly are on the mend. Today was Cailin & Ashers 1st day back to school, so they are beat - it wore them out. Kelly went back to school yesterday, and Ethen is back to his normal self.

Sorry you asked? lol

I forgot Tajia! lol She's fine. ***knock on wood***

And as a self-professed germaphobe, I'm numb. After 2 1/2 weeks of this crap, I don't even care about the germs anymore. Let's make Tajia get it, and get it over with already!
I've gone through 2 containers of disinfectant wipes & almost a whole bottle of lysol spray. lol Not to mention the other household cleaners. And paper towels! I haven't been using hand towels, because with 8 kids, I'm sure they're harboring all sorts of lovely germs, so we've gone through countless rolls of paper towels. Good thing I buy them at costco. ;) "

Crazy enough for you? It's now been confirmed.

And I realized that along with the paper towels, disinfectant wipes and lysol spray, I've also made more Jell-0 (did you know they make pineapple flavor, as well as strawberry banana? ya, they have quite the variety), Ramen noodles and toast than I have in my entire life, and that is no lie!

There was one day last week when I was sick, and I had 4 sick kids. Needless to say, I cried that day. hahaha I also cried last Monday when Calum started running a fever. It was 100.4 and these sweet little babies are supposed to head to the doctor the minute it reaches 100.2. I was devastated. I tried so hard to not get this little babe sick, and all my efforts were a big fail. Luckily, thanks to the gift of the priesthood power, my wee one never got it as bad as some of the others. He had a fever Monday and Tuesday, he was throwing up on Wednesday and by Thursday he was back to his sweet little self. He never even got the congestion and cough that the rest of us had!

We're still waiting for Tajia to get it. So far, somehow, she has managed to evade it. I honestly don't know how, as she shares a room with three other little girls and those three other girls are a bundling mess of coughs, snot & lovely little germs. She must have an immune system of steel.